Something positive

“Peace”

Today was the most peaceful day I’ve had in two years.

I spent the day walking nature trails while my son rode his brand new bike. We found little trails, listened to the birds, watched the trees move, and for once… there was no city noise, no chaos, no constant noise in my head. Just nature. Just us.

I could finally take a deep breath and actually exhale. Fresh air. Peace. Freedom. And damn, it felt good. 

And when we got home, we didn’t let the peacefulness end. We went to the top of a parking garage and watched hot air balloons lift into the sky as the sun was setting. 

We sat there for two hours, just watching the city. My son beside me. Balloons floating across the sunset. And for those two hours, my mind was quiet.

Nothing running through my head. No fear. No overthinking. No surviving.

Just pure fucking beauty.

I haven’t felt this way in YEARS.

Today felt different. Today felt like I wasn’t just surviving anymore… I was actually living. 

And the craziest part? So much of today was completely outside my comfort zone. I could’ve talked myself out of it. I could’ve stayed home. I could’ve let fear win.

But I didn’t.

I went. I lived. I breathed. I laughed. I made memories with my son.

And tonight, I’m fucking proud of myself.

Maybe this is what healing feels like.

Maybe this is what getting pieces of yourself back feels like.

Whatever it is… I want more of this.